Society has historically frowned upon women sharing their experiences regarding reproductive health with each other. We need to share. It is incredibly helpful and empowering to be open about our reproductive health to educate and support other women. Again, these are my own personal experiences and each woman will have a different one from mine. Please talk at length with your doctors about your questions, needs, and concerns regarding your reproductive health.
IUDs
I have the Kyleena IUD, and I have had it for about four years now. Before the Kyleena, I had the Paragard IUD, but I had it removed. I decided to get the Paragard after I had my son (but before having my daughter). The Paragard IUD has no hormones, which is why I chose this one to start with. The insertion of the IUD did not cause me any pain, but a lot of women feel pain or discomfort. I was nervous about the insertion but it went great. The pain came shortly after the insertion and grew worse and worse as the months passed. After about two months, I went to the ER and had it removed. The second it was out, I had wonderful relief. We didn’t use any birth control and just hoped the pull out method would not fail. Years passed and I had my daughter (after having a miscarriage the year before), but when my ex-husband and I divorced, I decided to ask my OBGYN about the newer IUDs that were now available with less hormones, specifically the Kyleena IUD. The hormones in the Kyleena IUD are only to reduce pain and not regulate your menstruation. After my last try without hormones in my IUD, and knowing that these hormones are only for pain management and not to regulate or affect my body, I decided to give IUDs another go. Insertion was also painless for me the second time, and to my relief, there was no pain from the actual IUD like I had had with the Paragard. For several months there was a lot of spotting, but then it completely stopped and now my period is nothing more than a light spotting each month. I cannot speak highly enough about the Kyleena and I recommend it to all of my friends. At my appointment with my general practitioner, I even discussed it with him and how it is a great option for birth control.
Miscarriage
My miscarriage experience is difficult because I lost a pregnancy as my mom was dying from breast cancer. It is hard for me to speak about still because of how this loss affected my entire family and the resentment from my extended family over my loss. While my mom had just come out of the hospital after months, I found out I was pregnant and after a few weeks, I shared the good news hoping to bring some cheer to my mom and my extended family. After my first appointment, my doctor ordered bloodwork and that’s when she informed me that she was concerned about the pregnancy. The hormone levels kept fluctuating for weeks and it confused my OBGYN because she thought I would miscarry much earlier, but it was almost two months before I did actually miscarry, I was almost four months when I lost the pregnancy. She offered the D&C procedure but she advised against it and suggested that it would be better to allow my body to go through the natural process. The miscarriage started on my son’s third birthday party. I had to set up the entire party while I was having a miscarriage. Luckily, my amazing neighbor helped me set up and friends helped me clean up the party. The next day I was in intense pain, and while I was hurting quite badly, the hill behind my house caught fire and I was evacuated. I went to two separate friends’ houses, but ended up at the hospital for the amount of bleeding and pain I was having. It was incredibly uncomfortable to have a miscarriage in a friend’s house and not in my own space and also having the major concern about the possibility my house could burn down. The hospital really helped me through the last part of my miscarriage with pain management, bleeding, and making sure I had a full miscarriage otherwise I would need a D&C. They tested me for my blood loss and my other levels as well. My miscarriage was very painful. I was not expecting that amount of pain. It was also emotionally painful, and neither was I expecting that amount of emotional pain. My family was upset with me that I had told my mom that I was expecting, but I had no idea I would miscarry. This is when I started therapy and I am grateful I did.
C-section
My two children were born via c-section. This was not what I had wanted at all. I had hoped for a natural birth because of good friends who had given birth naturally and how quickly they recovered. I would have taken an epidural if I needed it, but I was hoping to give birth without an epidural. A few weeks before I was going to give birth I went in for a checkup with my OBGYN and told her it felt like my son’s feet were in my leg. It was uncomfortable and a very weird feeling. Right before that I had asked if I was going to have another ultrasound and she said I didn’t need one, but when I told her about that discomfort, she got my on the ultrasound machine, and lo and behold, my son was breach, transverse. I went to the version (ECV) specialist but he informed me that he could not perform a version because there just was not enough room for my son to go, and that if he did do it, I would probably go right into labor. So, I had to have a c-section. It was surreal to wake up and know you were going to have a baby in a few hours. Everything went fine with my spinal and the procedure, but when they were closing me up just after they had taken my son out, my chest felt so heavy like a huge weight was on it and it was affecting my breathing. The nurse tried to hand my son to me but I couldn’t take him and she snapped at me for not wanting him. The anesthesiologist was right next to my head during the entire c-section and when I explained I was having a hard time breathing, he adjusted levels and I was fine. Then he berated the nurse for her comments and she apologized. I was up and walking a few hours after. My son and I had no issues nursing, and that was a big relief. My daughter had a harder time latching and I had to call in a lactation consultant to help me achieve the right latch, but we did it, and both my kids nursed until they were 2.5. The only issue I had with my daughter’s c-section was the spinal, when that anesthesiologist had an issue finding the pocket for the spinal. She had almost given up, and my back was killing me from all the pokes, but we both persisted. If you ever have to get a spinal, make sure to really hunch your back and curve it as much as possible. It’s hard when you’re nine months pregnant though. I just needed to hunch a bit more and then she found the pocket and was able to give me a spinal. Healing from the second c-section was much faster than my first. When my doctor was taking out my daughter she did tell me that I would not be able to have any more children because of the adhesions I have from my first c-section. We had talked about a tubal ligation before my c-section with my daughter, but I did not want one after my neighbor told me her horror story of having a tubal ligation and then getting long and painful periods much worse than she had ever had before it (lasting 3 weeks long). I asked my doctor and she told me that is a possibility if a women has a tubal ligation so I passed on that. I have my IUD, which ended up being a great birth control choice for me. In both c-sections, I spent two nights at the hospital only because of all the tests they have to perform on the babies otherwise I would have been home much sooner. Neither c-sections were painful at all, just take things slow. There’s a lot of discomfort of course, but not pain. I really advocate for pain medications after a c-section. I needed them and was grateful to not be hurting. The pain medications helped tremendously so I could take care of my new babies and heal. One thing that does hurt are the removal of staples, just thinking of it makes me shudder. My scar is so minimal though, and the staples helped keep it small so for that I am appreciative but a pain medication would be helpful for staple removal. One of the memorable parts of both c-sections was the lively banter I had with my doctor during the entire c-sections, we were all laughing together. Those are treasured memories of knowing my children were brought into the world while we were happy and in good spirits. They were brought into a world of joy. I am grateful that I did not have complications or pain so that I could fully enjoy the birth of my children.
Mammogram
I have been a bit lapsed in getting my first mammogram. It causes me a lot of anxiety because my mother died from breast cancer. My doctor has been trying to get me to go in for one for some time now but I finally did it this week and I am happy to have overcome that anxiety. Many of my friends said it hurt them, but it did not hurt me much until after, but it was only a few twinges of soreness. My OBGYN told me that my breasts are very dense so that might have something to do with it, plus they’re small so there is not much to squish. When I went to the imaging center, I got into a robe and waited for the x-ray technician, a woman, who was so kind and empathetic. We talked about my mom and her passing. She told me about her son who was recently married. She took a few images of each breast, and the way it is taken, they really do smash your breast as much as possible. A lot of women have pain from the smashing, but mine was just a little uncomfortable. Honestly, I was nervous it was going to hurt worse than it did, but that is just me and my own pain tolerance and dense breasts. It didn’t take long, maybe ten minutes all together plus a few minutes for chatting. When I left, the x-ray technician gave me a hug. The hug meant a lot to me.
I hope these stories have helped in some manner. Every woman has her own individual experience in each of these areas of women’s reproductive health, and every single story and experience is valid and should be heard.
Let’s reduce the stigma over sharing about our health experiences and support and empower women sharing their stories. Share your health experiences with the women in your life if you are able to and comfortable with it, and if they are okay with it, share the stories of your friends with more women so we can understand the full range of our experiences and empower each other.